Reviewing, rewriting, trying again

Wow, I really am crap at updating this blog. The truth is, I haven't really given writing a serious go for nearly a year now. Terrible. But I feel like I'm waking up again, easing myself back into a mindset that'll allow me to try again. There's no excuse, of course, but when you feel like things are going really shit in your life and you're always kind of tired than it's hard to get anything done.

But for some reason I've been feeling great ever since midterm break. Sure, I can feel myself getting tired again and slowly wearing down, but there's only five-and-a-bit weeks left before summer break... by which time, if I don't have another job I'll be truly miserable.

Anyway, as a part of kick-starting this writing instinct I've returned to 'Choices'--and realized that once reason why I've kept stalling on that story is that I have absolutely no idea what it's about anymore. Who are these people, and why are they doing what they're doing? So, I've gone back and started rereaidng the whole thing. It's bloody long! I really wrote all that?

It's great, though--not the story itself, though I'd like to think that it doesn't suck, but rather having something that long that I've written over such a length of time. From 'The Party' through to 'Contemplation' (where I'm up to at the moment) I can see my writing style slowly evolve... or rather, drop some of the excesses and weaknesses that so painfully inflicted my earlier writing. Though that's not entirely fair, since there was also a freedom in that earlier stuff--I don't think I was as worried about getting it write and making it great as I am now, which ultimately just stops you from writing anything. I need to find a middle ground. I also need to remember how to write. Like any skill--riding a bike, bedding a woman, teaching a classroom--if you don't keep at it you lose your edge; you might never forget but you get rusty. My writing is rusty. The words just don't pop into my head anymore. But I'm hoping ot get it back. Soon.