An in-flight entry about Choices

So I finally got back into writing Choices.

I’m not sure why the story has languished for so long. In fact, I’ve come very, very close to abandoning it completely several times now. Why? Well, the most obvious reason is that I’m just not that into anime in general anymore, and Ranma specifically. Fanfiction itself has lost some of it’s allure… I used to read loads of it, and now hardly read any. And finally I’ve been increasingly wanting to write a ‘real’ story—that is, something that I could publish and possibly, in my most optimistic dreams, even make money off of. Fanfiction will never be that. I can’t publish Choices. It’s not my world, not my characters, no matter how much I try to make them my own. Increasingly, my fanfiction stories have felt more like a burden than a hobby.

Strangely enough, though, I’ve gotten back into writing Choices for the same reason that I started writing it in the first place: practice. I started writing fanfiction so very long ago because I hadn’t written any form of fiction since high school and wanted to practice. Well, now I might want to write something ‘real;, but I was faced with the harsh reality that I hadn’t actually written anything in years. The words simply weren’t coming. Writing’s just like sex, or riding a bike: maybe you’ll never forget how to do it, but you sure can lose that refined edge through disuse.

But returning to Choices was difficult. I looked at where I left off and realized that I had absolutely no clue what was going on, who there people were and what they were up to. So I reread the whole thing, from The Party through to Decision, part one. And you know… I still like it! Strange to say. Don’t get me wrong: lots of it is painful to read. I have no idea what I was thinking with that whole dream sequence, and sometimes I’m amazed that readers of the story have shown such patience… it does go on in places, doesn’t it?

At the same time, there’s a real story there, I like to think, and I still feel commited to finishing it. I got hung up for ages at the conversation between Ranma and Akane. For some reason I felt the need to switch to Hiroshi at that point, but for ages had no idea what to do with him. It finally came to me, after rereading everything. I think I’d originally intended for him to dump Sayuri there… instead, they went off and had sex. Funny how these things happen.

The blockage broke during the flight from London to Ottawa, and now on the flight back I hope to get a bit more done. Maybe I’ll finally get this chapter done. I’m leading into the interesting stuff, finally, that I’ve been wanting to write out since starting ‘Decision’… I’ve finally made it to the bit where Ranma actually talks about the decision he’s got to make. Hopefully readers’ll like it to. I’m switching over to first-person perspective (-ish; it’s really 3rd, but comes off as 1st), and that’s new for me so the practice’ll be good.

I wonder if I’ll remember his ‘voice’ at all.